So, we have seen in my previous entry how before we started on this journey that I'd have died rather than submit. Thus how on earth could it be possible that a lifestyle whose main premise is submission would actually turn out to be beneficial, want to find out then read on ...
First for those who are new to domestic discipline I will try to explain the concept briefly, of course every couple can, and indeed should, adapt the basic premise into something that works for them, thus I will explain here how we have decided to go about it. Having read the blogs mentioned to the right together with Mr LovingDD's informative site we decided on the following.
We agreed that we wanted to firstly have a 'maintenance spanking' regime, this was to provide a framework for me to learn to submit to my partner's authority. Initially we agreed three times a week, but this could be reduced to 2 or even once per week as long as my behaviour was improving (not too many punnishment spankings per week) and I was learning to properly submit.
Then we identified the main problem areas and created a set rules with which to tackle them . Our main rules revolved around what was considered to be acceptable behaviour from me to my partner, i.e. no more verbal abuse and general nastiness was to be allowed and I was to let him properly help and "take care of me".
Secondary rules we also agreed upon were; stopping me from neglecting myself, i.e. ensuring that I stuck to my regular exercise regime (to get fit and lose weight), and ensuring that our bedroom, where I would receive any spankings, was a peaceful, comfortable and calm haven (i.e. that it was kept tidy and the bed was made every morning before I left for work).
Finally my HoH added in a few minor rules concerning my physical appearance, partly for his own devious little pleasure and partly because he said that 'adding in these more trivial points would be beneficial in teaching me to submit in small ways', e.g. as he has a "thing" about women in 'virginal (!) white cotton full figured knickers' he decreed that these were to be the only type of underwear that I should be permitted to wear, no thongs were to be allowed (anyway I hate 'cheesewire' underwear so there was no argument from me on this score)!!!
Finally we agreed the level of punishment spankings to be given should I infringe any of the above rules.
Well that all sounds very simple doesn't it, and indeed it did, until the very first maintenance session.
I have to admit it was a rather surreal situation, in order to ensure that for our first 'try' at domestic discipline we would have plenty of time, peace and quiet, and absolutely no possibility of being disturbed by the kids we decided to go into our loft come family room as this has a lock on the door! Thus my putative HoH ordered me to collect the various spanking implements, to go upstairs to this room and adopt the agreed position - standing in the corner with my hands on head and he would be up in half an hour or so when I had had sufficient time to reflect on my behaviour and why it has led to the decision to try thus new lifestyle. Thus, as a good little submissive should I followed his instructions to the letter, well up to the point where I tried to enter the room and go to the corner. Sadly, unbeknown to me, at some point during the previous week it seems that the room had been struck by a freak hurricane, a bomb, sorry, improvised explosive device, or perhaps just a stampeding herd of elephants, all of whom had forgotten to tidy up after themselves. Thus in order to reach the corner and stand in it, I first had to tidy up the room, this did not put me in a particularly repentant and submissive mood, rather I was in a furiously bad mood, I can tell you and this just made the whole situation seem even more bizarre.
The perhaps ten minutes, I stood in that corner trying to calm down and get myself ready for this first session seemed more like a couple of hours and when my partner actually joined me there I have to say that it took all of my considerable willpower not to run away or tell him to 'get stuffed'. I was not convinced that after all of that I would be able to submit to him spanking me.
Apart from some creative strategies for dealing with my untidy, inconsiderate elephants, sorry children, mostly what was going through my head were the words of Sara, Vivian and C who wrote the blogs above, these were words that they wrote about themselves, but you see, these words could actually have been written about me. Reading their accounts was so scary, it was putting into words what I had been thinking and feeling for some time, but just could not express. It was in so many ways a relief to find out that I was not alone and that other intelligent, well-educated, career minded, strong women could think the same way. These women had found a solution to their problems, not a conventional one admittedly, nor an easy one, but this solution, this lifestyle choice resonated with me in a way that nothing else ever has in the more than 40 years I have been on this planet. This was the reason I was standing in the corner of my own loft, hands on head, waiting for what I knew was to be a physically and emotionally painful experience.
Yes it was painful, far more painful than I had imagined, in my naivety, that it would be. Some of the time I could not think because of the pain, all I could do was grit my teeth and wait for the next strike to land. Some of the time I could only hang my head in shame as I listened to the words which my HoH was using to scold me, as I could only admit that all he said was true, my behaviour was what had led us to this and nothing else, this was an incredibly embarrassing and humbling experience.
Yet at the same time it was a huge relief, I finally had someone who loved me so much that he wanted to help me to become a better person, to take away the extremely tiring and taxing burden of always being in charge, someone who was leading so that I need only follow. I have been the leader all my adult life and actually realising that I had found someone who I could truly trust sufficiently to be able to admit that I was too tired to go on doing this, that I wanted someone to take control for me was mindblowing.
Physically I was a wreck, I was clearly going to have to be extremely careful about sitting down for a number of days (my HoH was also clearly going to have to improve both his technique and his aim too, but more of that later), but mentally I was elated, it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders so I could finally spread my wings and fly.
What a paradox, my submission to my HoH, and his forcing me not to be in control made me experience the greatest amount of freedom I have ever felt. Not only was I free but also amazingly secure. The huge amount of guilt about my outrageous treatment of my partner and the fears that this would force him to leave me were gone and I had finally found a place where I truly felt safe, loved and valued.
First for those who are new to domestic discipline I will try to explain the concept briefly, of course every couple can, and indeed should, adapt the basic premise into something that works for them, thus I will explain here how we have decided to go about it. Having read the blogs mentioned to the right together with Mr LovingDD's informative site we decided on the following.
We agreed that we wanted to firstly have a 'maintenance spanking' regime, this was to provide a framework for me to learn to submit to my partner's authority. Initially we agreed three times a week, but this could be reduced to 2 or even once per week as long as my behaviour was improving (not too many punnishment spankings per week) and I was learning to properly submit.
Then we identified the main problem areas and created a set rules with which to tackle them . Our main rules revolved around what was considered to be acceptable behaviour from me to my partner, i.e. no more verbal abuse and general nastiness was to be allowed and I was to let him properly help and "take care of me".
Secondary rules we also agreed upon were; stopping me from neglecting myself, i.e. ensuring that I stuck to my regular exercise regime (to get fit and lose weight), and ensuring that our bedroom, where I would receive any spankings, was a peaceful, comfortable and calm haven (i.e. that it was kept tidy and the bed was made every morning before I left for work).
Finally my HoH added in a few minor rules concerning my physical appearance, partly for his own devious little pleasure and partly because he said that 'adding in these more trivial points would be beneficial in teaching me to submit in small ways', e.g. as he has a "thing" about women in 'virginal (!) white cotton full figured knickers' he decreed that these were to be the only type of underwear that I should be permitted to wear, no thongs were to be allowed (anyway I hate 'cheesewire' underwear so there was no argument from me on this score)!!!
Finally we agreed the level of punishment spankings to be given should I infringe any of the above rules.
Well that all sounds very simple doesn't it, and indeed it did, until the very first maintenance session.
I have to admit it was a rather surreal situation, in order to ensure that for our first 'try' at domestic discipline we would have plenty of time, peace and quiet, and absolutely no possibility of being disturbed by the kids we decided to go into our loft come family room as this has a lock on the door! Thus my putative HoH ordered me to collect the various spanking implements, to go upstairs to this room and adopt the agreed position - standing in the corner with my hands on head and he would be up in half an hour or so when I had had sufficient time to reflect on my behaviour and why it has led to the decision to try thus new lifestyle. Thus, as a good little submissive should I followed his instructions to the letter, well up to the point where I tried to enter the room and go to the corner. Sadly, unbeknown to me, at some point during the previous week it seems that the room had been struck by a freak hurricane, a bomb, sorry, improvised explosive device, or perhaps just a stampeding herd of elephants, all of whom had forgotten to tidy up after themselves. Thus in order to reach the corner and stand in it, I first had to tidy up the room, this did not put me in a particularly repentant and submissive mood, rather I was in a furiously bad mood, I can tell you and this just made the whole situation seem even more bizarre.
The perhaps ten minutes, I stood in that corner trying to calm down and get myself ready for this first session seemed more like a couple of hours and when my partner actually joined me there I have to say that it took all of my considerable willpower not to run away or tell him to 'get stuffed'. I was not convinced that after all of that I would be able to submit to him spanking me.
Apart from some creative strategies for dealing with my untidy, inconsiderate elephants, sorry children, mostly what was going through my head were the words of Sara, Vivian and C who wrote the blogs above, these were words that they wrote about themselves, but you see, these words could actually have been written about me. Reading their accounts was so scary, it was putting into words what I had been thinking and feeling for some time, but just could not express. It was in so many ways a relief to find out that I was not alone and that other intelligent, well-educated, career minded, strong women could think the same way. These women had found a solution to their problems, not a conventional one admittedly, nor an easy one, but this solution, this lifestyle choice resonated with me in a way that nothing else ever has in the more than 40 years I have been on this planet. This was the reason I was standing in the corner of my own loft, hands on head, waiting for what I knew was to be a physically and emotionally painful experience.
Yes it was painful, far more painful than I had imagined, in my naivety, that it would be. Some of the time I could not think because of the pain, all I could do was grit my teeth and wait for the next strike to land. Some of the time I could only hang my head in shame as I listened to the words which my HoH was using to scold me, as I could only admit that all he said was true, my behaviour was what had led us to this and nothing else, this was an incredibly embarrassing and humbling experience.
Yet at the same time it was a huge relief, I finally had someone who loved me so much that he wanted to help me to become a better person, to take away the extremely tiring and taxing burden of always being in charge, someone who was leading so that I need only follow. I have been the leader all my adult life and actually realising that I had found someone who I could truly trust sufficiently to be able to admit that I was too tired to go on doing this, that I wanted someone to take control for me was mindblowing.
Physically I was a wreck, I was clearly going to have to be extremely careful about sitting down for a number of days (my HoH was also clearly going to have to improve both his technique and his aim too, but more of that later), but mentally I was elated, it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders so I could finally spread my wings and fly.
What a paradox, my submission to my HoH, and his forcing me not to be in control made me experience the greatest amount of freedom I have ever felt. Not only was I free but also amazingly secure. The huge amount of guilt about my outrageous treatment of my partner and the fears that this would force him to leave me were gone and I had finally found a place where I truly felt safe, loved and valued.
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